Howdy ho ho, barkeep
A thief and a horse enter a bar.
Horse: “Howdy bartender. Tender bar you have there.”
Thief: “You’re an idiot. I ain’t taking you nowhere no more.”
Horse: “Your triple negation cancels itself, therefore you must take me anywhere! Anywhere I say!”
Bartender: “Are you gonna drink something or what”
Horse: “I’m gonna drink the something and he’s gonna drink the what.”
(and it goes on and on, until the bartender’s head explodes in a tender poof.)
. . .
Thief: “Look what you did, you idiot.”
Horse: “I know it seems a bit unrelated at the moment, but did you see my red shoes? I can’t find my red shoes.”
. . .
Horse: “Wait a minute, wait a minute. The man just lost his head, and all I care about are my shoes? My f****** red shoes? This is bull***! Who writes this crap?!”
Me: “Umm… ha-ha!” (runs)